ames
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
In terms of productiveness, it was a productive day today. I managed to study long periods of time but the problem is that I have no momentum. It’s hard to study that long without my head getting foggy only after 10 minutes. But grateful to do some!
I feel that I didn’t get to speak to you much today, I’d like to see you as much as we can especially as I’ll be starting classes and having exams next week!
The day started around 12pm and I think it was 8pm when I got roped into this drama on Netflix. The drama was about how humans unlocked the ability to live forever, by having an advanced computer chip in the back of our necks. But as people lived forever, their wealth seemed to be limitless and the split between the rich and poor was as big as the Grand Cannon. The scientist that invented led an uprising against people who used her technology because she saw how immortality stopped the moral feelings in people, especially when the consciousness could also be downloaded into any body through this chip. It was interesting what the scientist/rebel leader had said but maybe we could talk about this in our next chat 😉
I do miss you darling 😊 and I’m grateful for anytime we have a call. (09.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Duary, Hello James,
The weather yesterday was abso-bloody-lutely! That was the reason why i had only one lesson out of five. four of them called me and asked to skip the only lesson, just to spend more time with family and friends outside. And I did understood them. My sister got sick that is why i couldn’t go for a walk with her. So I was riding to the shops, did homework and did a lot of cleaning. When we live together please don’t be angry. Yes, i can be messy sometimes (just a little) and i do everything to change it. However, i heard from a radio that people have made a lot of mistakes because of the position of planets :)) You see, that is not my fault , but planets)) Of course that is just an excuse.
I am greatful to not to feel shame telling you my dark side, kiss (09.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
I slept late and had to wake up early today and I had woken up just on time as I had a dentist appointment at 0920 this morning. I had a wrong time somewhere and ended up 5-10 minutes late to the appointment! But thankfully, it wasn’t so busy so I was seen almost immediately! I had forgotten what a toothache felt like in a long time and they say that they are more worse than any pain on the body.. I agree! I definitely agree!
I came home and I really wanted to get rid of that desire to carry on watching the drama and so I watched another 1h 30m to make my head hurt, so that I don’t feel like I want to use Netflix again. It worked and now I have deleted Netflix! 😉
After that I was studying and then when my nieces cried I spent about 30 minutes holding one after the other as my mum changed their nappies and soothed them to sleep. I think I need to practise the soothing technique more! They seem to cry every time I hold them! Hmm…
I hope everything is going smoothly for you today darling, maybe you have a very busy day today and I look forward to seeing you in the evening! 😊 I like and choose you 😊 (10.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
This day started with a heavy rain, such a good mood killer. At these days it is better to treat yourself, to so some self-compassion. In uni we had to translate articles about social payment in Germany. It was unusual to hear that poor Germans are complaining about buying iPhones on credit, have the same furniture for more than 5 years and go abroad not a lot. Probably for European or even Moscow citisen this very definition describes poor people. However, it is absolutely normal in my hometown. I don’t want to say that Russia is a poor country, i just say that people where I am are used to have little, that is a pity. We have already discussed this that London has so many differenties with other part of the UK, the same happens with Moscow and other parts of Russia. It seems like there is a huge gap between them. That is why my mom is so happy for us having an oportunity to live much better life in a new appartment. It seems that her dream is comming true. Sorry if i recently talks a lot about this topic, thank you for listening, like you! (10.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Today I helped my electrician cousin. There were a few houses that needed a check up in terms of there “electricity health”. The day started we me having a runny nose, even though I slept very early the day before. The first house took only 3 hours and the tests seemed to be quite straight forward but in honesty, my cousin did most of the work! And I did most of the climbing up and down the stairs. One of the problems was that the fridge was a very old and faulty fridge, meaning that we had to change it or none of the lights on the lower floor would work. The solution was for us to go to the closest department store to find a fridge and my brother would find a way to order it to the house.
The second flat was even quicker. It turns out that the second flat’s electricity health was as bad as I felt but it was still running okay! The system was also a post-war system, meaning that it is in dire need of an upgrade! Meaning that this second job only took 1 hour. We both thought it was home time but then I remembered and my parent’s friend’s takeaway shop also had a problem with their electricity, so we drove all the way over to find that the system in this shop was the same as the second flat we went to! It was quite funny and I was amazed at how old systems are left unchecked!
We fixed the system in that takeaway and was rewarded with a very big box of fish and chips. Which my cousin and I could really not finish but we tried our best. So we took it to McChina where it was refused and it had ended back into my hands! Haha
The rest of the night was fuzzy; I had a hot bath and couldn’t really sleep after that!
I am grateful for spending time with you darling, I enjoy every second with you, even if it’s on a screen and did I say how beautiful you are every call we have? Maybe I should say those thoughts out loud next time 😊
Sorry that I hadn’t been writing much, the next few posts will come together. This cold has made me rather immobile with a foggy mind. I like and choose you sweetheart ❤
(11/03/20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
Today i was at home for the whole day, i spent the majority of time in fron of my computer (doing homework) and played some games with my sister. She feels much better comparing with yeasterday. Everything was kinda smooth, apart from the quarrel with my mom. I hate when it happens we start to shout to each other. i have already explained for you what had happened, but copy it here just to read this after a while and look at this situation from the third person of view.
She said that she had 11 clients tomorrow and i got crossed that she didn’t care of herself and us. Then i turned back and went to the kitchen and started to cook lunch for tommorow, saying that if she worked so hard, we didn’t have mom at home. Then she replied that if i cooked with such a mood, she would not eat it tommorow. I said that if she didn’t eat what i cooked, I would not live in apartment which my mom works so hard at.
I don’t wanna comment it somehow, it is still too painful. I am so greatful for being nearby, darling ) (11.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
I woke up feeling okay but the day did not end as I had expected. I came home to chicken noodle soup and a longer conversation with my mum than I had expected. My eyes stung for bed but I’m not sure why I always resisted sleep. Maybe I just did not have a good sleeping routine, with it changing so much!
However, the day was not as busy as it normally is. The strong draft from the kitchen and every time the door opened stung my eyes and nose. I hope I haven’t scared any customers away with my blocked nose. Longing for sleep, I was relieved to finish work and to go home.
Sometimes it takes a little bit of time to really know our own feelings, especially when things are not so clear or when we are tired. It can look like we act irrationally but they are without reason. There are deeper meanings in all of our feelings, it’s just the matter of finding them. I am here for you darling, anytime you want someone to listen to you, I’m here for you 😊
just remember how strong, clever, and brave you are darling 😉
I am grateful for my mum, she has so many clever little health tips that it’s incredible to think that she went through so many illnesses! I am also grateful for our call, no matter how little they are 😊 Miss you and kiss you darling
(12.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
Today i felt puzzling for the whole day, my heart was heavy. Just in order to no to start worry, i put myself into reading. The quater of the book flew as a wind! As for my studying, it was partly productive day. I did not like conversations with my classmates (not Julia, she stayed at home today). and i felt that im not in a right place when students started to discuss drags, alcho and sex during the break. Those are topics the majority of my classmates are keen on,personally, I am far away from it. When I came home, i had less than five minutes before 3 lessons in a row. As for my mom, we talked in the evening seemed like nothing happened yesterday. So it seems that this argument will be swallowed and will not speack out as wall as previous ones.
I am so happy we had a chance to talk a little bit today. Hope you are getting better darling. I miss and hug you, James (12.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
I’m glad you feel better today darling. When I see you smile, it feels like sunshine warming my skin on a cold winter’s day.
I woke up feeling about 75% better but when I took the bus to the restaurant, I felt about 45% worse. I had a quick meal before driving home.
I panicked; think I had gotten infected but it was nothing more than a common cold. I had to take the thermometer out to check, and the temper actually read 35 degrees.
I noticed that the virus will make the world even more strict on hygiene than before and now I am curious to how the future will look like 😊
You are the world to me darling, and just remember how amazing you are 😉
(13.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello Jamesic,
Today was okay day, my uni is far away from being perfect. I am looking forward to gratuate. 4 months left. I have already said to you about the volunteer program, that was pity that it was canceled but from another hand it was expectable.
I have finished the book The Curious Incident… and found it amazing, the next one would be Pigeon English, the one we took from a Victoria time house during our trip.
I am happy you stay home darling. Just need to relex and let the cold go away. Like and chose you.
Btw, i don’t know how to change the colour of my posts (the way you do mine gray). Can you explain please?
like and chose you.
(13.03.20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
And I felt good after our talk today 😊 You really are my sunshine!
I made chicken noodle soup today and had two meals. Maybe it was a little much but it felt good to have hot soup! After our call, I had dinner and then had a shower. I noticed that the shower a little bit broken and then went about fixing it. That really made me sweat! But it’s now fixed 😉.
The cough has finally gone and all I need now is a good cuddle with you in bed and I will be more than 100% (10000% 😉) but 100% will have to do tomorrow 😛
I relaxed and watched zombie episodes today and did a little bit of studying.
I’m grateful for our talk today, it really felt nice to voice out my doubts that I had been unintentionally holding on to for a long time. I love your pragmatism and your way of motivation. I am happy with you darling😊
(14.03.20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Another day passes where there is panic buying and the shelves are emptied. This situation reminds me of something I have thought and heard about before. Ghosts are only real in the eyes that believe they are real. I’m not to say that the virus isn’t real, rather I am saying that it is the fear of the virus and fear itself that is making everyone act irrationally. Community is important, the same national community that was found in the two great wars. So today, we need international community?
I spent the whole weekend indoor and for today and yesterday, actually away from any human contact (even though, I don’t really hug my parents, I just didn’t see or speak to them). It felt really strange. I can feel them but not see them. Have you experienced this before? I didn’t feel all too isolated though, seeing you, I did not feel like I was alone. Thank you for you darling! Thank you for believing in me. And I’m always here for you darling my love<3
(15.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
I am greatful for you being strong at this stressful time, for my mom, teaching me to be calmer and wormer and the internet that keeps us connected. (15.03.20)

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