Week 4

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Today had been a smooth day but also a very quick day! I hadn’t expected to go to buy ingredients twice today as my car isn’t so big that it can take so many heavy boxes of chicken and lots of different size drinks, at the same time.
In the lunch break, I went home to grab my charger and then went to my brother’s house, where my mum was waiting with a bowl of noodles, ready for my lunch. I’m grateful for that because moment before arriving at my brother’s house, I was at the local bank, putting in some money into my account.
As I was waiting in line, an old lady come in and walks around, trying to find someone who can help her with the machine and strangely she didn’t want to notice me and then makes a comment that I had pushed in in front of her. I understand she is old and maybe confused but I took it slightly negatively and became annoyed. I had this reaction maybe because of all the talks about race and the virus. I think I need a small break and we can fly to the moon for a holiday together.
In the evening, there hadn’t been many customers but my auntie and I were still busy somehow. Once I arrived home, I was feeling tired but relieved that the day of work had finished and ready for shower and to relax.
I suppose that the feeling where want to relax with violent (the shooting game) has gone as I’m more motivated to do more than play games. I will improve myself in every way I am able to.
I look forward to seeing you again my darling, I think past a certain time, the brain gets foggy. Good night my sweetie ❤ (24.02.20)

Ksenia
Hello James, Hello Diary,
I am greatful for a productive day yesterday, I am happy with having an early night and starting working since early morning. I am so greatful for my mom, sister and you being nearby. I am greatful for smooth lessons and nice students. Am greatful for you paying so much attantion to our website, it looks cool, thank you! Am greatful for a spring sun which gives such a warm feeling, for my own computer and room. However, because of spending a long time in front of computer i move not enough and my eyes itch sometimes. Will force myself go out today (probably in a swimming pool, i really like your idea) and will do some eyes exercises.
My yesterday teaching task was to create a lesson about relationships, that made me watch and read a lot about it. Here you some videos i really enjoyed, hope you will like them too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUMFZM5WBrI
This is a poem which is very powerful, and the speaker seems kinda famous, maybe you know him.
And the second one is something like a show, where couples answer questions one by one. Look at this episode, they seems perfect to each other, their voices are so calm and lovely to each other, but when they start to say about difficulties, some negative aspecs come to light, but i am inspired by them, how smooth the cope with all difficulties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmcWUOjOouc.
Hope you enjoy them, have a good day sweetie and see you soon ❤ (24.02.20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
I have seen this first relationship video but I can watch it 100 times. It’s so inspiring and I think that no matter at which point we are in this life journey, that video will always be so good to watch 😊 I think it’s an excellent video about relationships, especially the inner relationship between an individual and themselves!
The second video is really interesting and I think it’s a great lesson and I really like her couple comment, seeing other elderly couples and seeing them like us. 😊 That’s a really sweet comment! and I really like that they pray with each other, it feels like a deep connection through the words. It felt like the moments we meditated together 😊
I am so happy the flowers arrived for you and happier that you really like them! 😊
I am grateful for you too, I can feel your hugs and kisses and your love. I really do!
I am also grateful for a car, for good weather when walking outside, and grateful for a quiet day. Although not good for business, quiet days can bring a sort of refreshing breeze into the soul 😊
I am now sliding next to you, giving you another kiss before going to sleep myself ❤
Good night my darling, looking forward to seeing you 😊! (25.02.20)

Ksenia
Hello James, hello Diary,
Yesterday my lovely man made my evening, sweetie ❤ I was very excited to receive flowers from you. They are so lovely, beautiful, and wonderful! And roses are one of my favorite ! <3I think of you when I see them and appreciate that you thought of me darling!
As for the whole day, I was doing homework from teaching course (making plans for lessons for different aspects). And do you remember me telling you that my tutor was studying in England and then worked there for a year. So she said that she had a course CELTA, and then her tutors saw the potential in her and offered there job 🙂 I’m looking forward to having this course too. It’s worth mentioning that people can hve it in every capital of any country, so both London and Moscow are acceptable. But the price of the course is extremely high + need some savings for living. So of course having this course in Moscow is much more convenient and cheaper, but this course is also an opportunity for us to try live together (for the time when the course is lasting and if we are lucky for longer). But it will be possible at least in 2 years from now, anyway, both of us need this time for growing our skills in career. And then as you said at the age of your late 20s – early 30s our life together as a family may start 🙂
I am so grateful for my mom, having deep and trust conversations with her really helps to become mature, truly grateful for having a job which I am really looking for. And I am so grateful for you, my only one 🙂 (25.02.20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksuha,
My routine now has writing these entries every night and I think I am quickly seeing a positive impact on my life. I wake up a little more refreshed and my mind can start working more quickly!
Each day now flows so quickly; I am sometimes finding it hard to believe how fast things are going nowadays! The last time I read with Amelia was almost 1.5 years ago and seeing how quickly she has improved and become confident with reading, makes me a proud uncle 😉 I hope to say that to my very own child one day 😊 there is such a real joy in seeing them develop! You may have noticed at the end of our call today, that it looked like I didn’t seem to put much effort into playing with them as they are craving attention. I want to spend the time with you and also, I feel that they just will not listen to me and you may have to teach me how to keep children so active and listen to you ;P
I’m grateful for a sunny day where I can walk after a nice swim, I’m grateful to learn Russian anywhere I go; I’m grateful for a mum’s cooking, and I’m grateful we had a call tonight, I find a warm fuzzy feeling every time we talk 😊 and sorry if you felt like I wasn’t listening, it was slightly hard to hear over the loudness of the kids but I’m sure the next time it’ll just be the two of us ❤
I felt I wanted to see you more at the end of the day, and it felt a little strange that I didn’t get a goodnight from you. Maybe you were spending the evening with your family and so treasured the time with them or you were having some me-time where you were carrying on the really interesting story about the dog 😊 Either way, I do understand and I want to wish you the sweetest dream and the best rest as I am sending my arm over to you, where you should receive it sometime during the night 😉 I like and choose you my sweetheart! (26.02.20)

Ksenia
Dear James, Dear Diary,
I am so happy. Yesterday everything was so smooth and nice. I have already told you about my routine, actually I think that I was talking much more than usual, thank you for being so attentive and caring my dear darling 🙂 I really like how you spend time with your little cousins, they really treat you as a friend 🙂 I am sure that one day you will be an awesome father 🙂 can’t believe that the next week is already spring, time is flying, one year has passed since me coming to China. Once I’ve read a nice quote I don’t remember it clearly, but the idea was that the first half of one’s life goes like years, the second half like minutes. That means that the speed how we feel life is becoming faster and faster. Probably that is more obvious in big cities where there is such a rush. Anyway, sometimes it is useful to relax and enjoy yourself being young, pretty and healthy 🙂 I like and choose you James, and really appreciate everything that connects to you. Have a great day my lovely 😘 (26.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksuha,
When I saw you all I wanted to do was to hug and kiss you and send you lots and lots of flowers. I know how it feels when people waste precious time that can not be given back! It is frustrating but at the end of it all, the important person is yourself (and, I definitely think you are important nevertheless!).
I spent the evening eating, making those brownies, and studying the next parts of my course. Maybe you feel the same (I have a feeling that you do), when you see a new book or have the chance to study something new, you get that excited feeling in your chest and tingling sensations from your arms to your fingertips! That was how I felt when I carried that big folder home from the post office yesterday. And the same again when I opened the book! 😊
I can understand sometimes that the world will not stop for you and it’s hard to get a breather sometimes but just remember one phrase from a very wise bear; “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.” You are ultimately the strongest women I know. Sometimes, it’s okay to have a cup of tea with a really sweet biscuit. I’m sure you know all of these but I’d like to give you a small reminder 😉 and also, to imagine that I’m next to you sharing 40% of that biscuit 😊
I felt that I didn’t have much time to give as much love as I could in our call today, so I wanted to save these words for you here so that you can always come back to them, as a small reminder of how special you are to me!
Anyhoot, good morning my sweetie and have a wonderful morning. Shine with the sun and let the wind take you on once in a lifetime adventures! (27.02.2020)

Ksenia
Dear James, Dear Diary,
Every day we say that we miss each other. But today, I feel like I miss you so much more than I usually do. Your full of sympathy words are like honey for my soul. I really appreciate you being nearby at the moments of happiness and sadness. You are my guardian angel sweetie! Today I woke up from the most wonderful dream when we are finally together with no reason to ever be apart again. I woke up to a start and to an empty bed that’s missing your presence. Sorry for not calling you in the evening just because my mom usually finishes at 9 (the same time with me) at she wants to talk for a while. Thank you for understanding Jamesic! Yesterday was a little bit tiring day, but nothing special happened. I had 4 lessons and then 3 lessons at home. I feel you nearby and that gives me motivation to continue grow, get out of my comfort zone, I have my dreams and my daily reminders of your love to keep me company. I miss you every moment of every day! Like you sooooo much! (27.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksuha,
I had not expected that the restaurant would close so fast and that I would be home very quickly! It has been a while since I’ve spelt so late and I am proud of myself for studying a little bit more today and can’t wait to carry on tomorrow. Your motivation to study is wonderful 😉
There were no interesting customers (thankfully!), only some very nice ones 😊. Although, there was a funny little moment with my brother where he commented on how I’m talking back with everything he says now. I’m sure he means the best but if it’s the same reminders of things I’ve only done once or twice then I don’t know if he has a habit of these reminders!
The situation: He said about a certain thing that me and my mum does sometimes, about leaving a bowl somewhere where it shouldn’t be, but I feel that he always seems to blame something on me.
The feeling and respond: I am definitely tired of these comments and so I responded that I can’t be the only one who does this. A few seconds later, he responds that I’m talking back to these comments, which was a little patronising. After this, I finally found the words I’ve been wanting to say to my brother for a while, which were: “I’m your younger brother and not your son!”. I tried to say this in a cheerful tone but I had a frown in response to the comment.
After a few minutes, things started to settle and we carried on as if nothing happened but I felt a little victorious after that. It was important for me to stand my ground and to find my voice.
There’s a moral to this story and maybe something important to take away, but I would like to hear what you would like to say about this! Afterall, that strong voice is something I learnt from you 😉
And good morning when you read this my sweetheart 😊 I like and choose you vverrryyyy much! (28.02.2020)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
The day was smooth, full of sunshine and good music (i am crasy about rock folk right now). I was at uni and then went back by bus, and i remember reading the book about the curious accident with the dog. I absolutely love it! When i got home i had a lellson with a student. He was nice, actualy. Then there was a lesson with my mom. I used materials for small children and the lesson was very smooth. I went to sleep kinda early, but that did not help and i did not hear a morning alarm to talk with you, darling. I am so greatful for you waiting for me, James. We had a really nice talk in the morning and my heart was full of love to you.
As for your brother, that is okay, you will always be the younger brother and son, as well as your brother and sister will always be elder. There are both advanteges and disadvanteges in any family role. (28.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Happy leap day! It’s today that the earth has a chance to keep up with itself! In the restaurant today, there was a big party of a guy who was 40 years one but because he was born in a leap year, he is officially 10 years old! The birthday boy did look a little older than 10 years! I can carry on to complain about how one of the customers really wasn’t so nice, she wouldn’t smile and it seemed like the whole world would only spin around her, but I don’t want to complain because letting one person stay in your own head would be like carrying a heavy stone across a river, not knowing that one could easily drop the stone and let it stay where it is!
The interesting customer tonight was about three guys who didn’t want to pay the bill. They came up to the counter and pretended I was not there, just waiting for them to pay but they just started to walk away and out of the door. I shouted for them and stopped them outside of the cold, where my brother and mother, carrying an empty bottle, followed after me and thankfully, they was there. He said that we would all be fired from our jobs if they were to not pay and after a bit of convincing, they agreed to give us their phones to carry as they waited to get money to pay. They eventually came back and paid, and we didn’t need to use the bottles!
It was the first time I had experienced this and they didn’t carry a normal manner about them. Some of the customers inside noticed this and was prepared to call the police! It was nice to know that some of the customers were on our side!
It was a quiet night after that too, apart from half of the restaurant being covered in glitter/tiny decorations (these things are very hard to clean!). And my-my I was glad the day was over!
Thank you for you my beautiful princess. (29.02.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
I am writing this a little bit later from the right date. Anyway i still remember it. I had a busy working day and I noticed that I did not have any pleasure from it. I understood that i stood still. I had a willing to earn money, but not enjoy the moment. That was awful I know. But understanding a problem is a step towards solving it. It is better to have less but good lessons rather than a lot of but without clear structure. I hate this when other teachers do this, but unfortunately step by step starting to do the same. Ksenia, it is high time to stop. The clear understanding came when one child’s mother started to talk with me after a lesson. She is a privite teacher too and she has had a long years of practice. She recommended me some good things and when i was sitting with her i felt the nice feeling which students have when there is a good teacher in front of them. It is hard to explain but I am sure you know this feeling too. There is warmth that she has and spreads around. Now i have one more example to be followed.
It was a nice story about a boy who is 40 (10) years old. I think these people who have official birthday ones in 4 years are really cool 🙂 They can celebrate their birthday for two days (28 th of Fabruary and 1st of March) in a common year ^_^
As for the story about people who were about to leave without paying, you reacted so quickly! You did everything people could do in this situation. Your mom and brother must be very proud of you!
Thank you for you, see you soon, sweetie (29.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
I really don’t like wake up so late into the day but it being a Sunday, I’d suppose that this is okay! It was a fairly slow day but it was nice to sit down and spend sometime with my cousins, who I would say that they pretty much are my brothers and sisters! I made the pasta and thankfully the bowls were clean!
I am also very grateful to see you, a beautiful soul in this world. I’m always thinking ahead of how we would be when we were to live together. How our routines be and whether Aksenia would need a room of her own 😉
Sorry I had not written the words the other day, I wanted to write both of them today and I’m excited to see how we’ve written this for a full month (on Thursday)!
I’m grateful for you my darling and goodnight, I feel you close by! (01.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, hello James,
Yesterday has gone, I am writing these on the way to my uni the next day. But all the memories are still fresh. The day was nice, productive and busy. You have already known about my yesterday’s routine. I am so happy to have our calls darling
I didn’t mention the morning argument with my sister. Well, I was a little bit too hard on her. But I hadn’t noticed it if my mom wouldn’t have said. Sometimes I can be hard to talk to, can be rude, but I didn’t mean it. Please darling when we are together let me know when I am out of line. You are my man, my tutor and you have the right to do that. Please let me be better version of myself. Like and choose as always do. See you tomorrow. (01.02.2020)