Week 3 Our Journey

Ksenia
Hello Diary, hello James,
That is alredy the evening, the end of the day. I like the song you have sent to me, it is playing right now on my phone, thank you. I like this day, it was productive and sunny, i could feel the spring sun shining out of the window. I am blaming myself for not moving too much and did not go out for the whole day. And i like the soup i did today, it reminds me of your home and your restaurant. My lessons were smooth, i felt comfortable and cosy, drinking tea with students today.
I really like your ideao of doing psychologic exersises it sounds interesting. And i am looking for you in a dream, see you there sweetie. (17/02/20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
It’s always strange to have a ten-hour day. I feel as if my day went by like a breeze over an ocean. But it was also a productive day. I spent most of it doing small errands and small things, like cleaning and reading. I resisted the urge to spend money on tea or coffee today but I did buy a 2L gym bottle. This should help me drink more water as my body is really lacking it at the moment.
The book I am reading is all about self-compassion and how it can make a real difference in everybody’s life. I have only read through the first chapter but I will keep both of you up to date😉
The exercises will be on here, so we can enjoy them together and grow together 😊
I will also keep this one fairly short as I have planned to have a very hot bath (for 90minutes apparently) and then sleep very early!
I look forward to seeing you in our dreams darling ❤ 🙂 (17/02/20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
I am greatful for this day even if it goes so quickly. I was reading some poems during my breakes and they creates such a light feeling inside. It is a rest for me, averything else is a study or work.
I want to sleep less and study more. So i have to force myself to go to sleep before 10.
I really enjoy our talk today and enjoy the feeling of missing.
I am greatful for food, for family and university friends and for you my sunshine.
Good night and see you soon! (18/02/20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Hello beautiful. I hope you know that, you really are beautiful, not just in your appearance, you also have a beautiful soul. And I suppose, we connect in that way 😊
I love our talks about baby and children, and it makes me so happy that I have you to settle in the future with because I know that you will be one darn-good mother/teacher/student/amazing person! I hope I haven’t spoken these words too soon and have either spoked you or something else! Because I mean it! 😊 I really enjoy our talks and enjoy them even more when we are holding each other.
Today, also went like a breeze for me today. I was supposed to have an afternoon drinking some tea in a café while looking over the material I will need to memorise for my exams when I got a call from my mum and I had to help her get some ingredients for the restaurant, as they were not delivered. I’m not sure why, but recently I would get all heated up and annoyed that I had to not be able to spent time for myself to study. However, today, I felt calm and relaxed, I did not feel the pressure of having to do what my mum had told me, I just turned around at the café, left and went straight to help my mum. Why was I angry those many times before? Whatever the reason, I felt more like myself today when going straight to help my mum.
Making the soup in the afternoon is really fun but it does take up a bit of time. What planned to be an hour, ended up to be twice that. I had also thought the rain will fall around 4pm but it came an hour earlier, and so I wasn’t able to wash my car (I should have put soap on it and let the rain do the other part!). From the viewpoint of these word, I looked like I had a bad day, but actually, I feel like I haven’t had such a good day like today, in a long time! Maybe it is because I am living in the present, especially when I’m looking more into self-compassion and really loving myself again. Although, it is harder said than done!
I am grateful for this feeling I am developing and I hope I can make it last! I am also grateful for you my darling, our conversation are always so pleasant and I enjoy each and everyone of them!
See you very soon in our dream darling! Goodnight! (or good morning if you’re reading this in the morning 😉 ). (18/02/20)

Ksenia
Hello James, Hello Diary,
The day has already gone, i did not feel it. I feel myself a little bit miserable. That happens sometimes. What shoul i do? Have a shower, have a rest, drink something hot, read a good book and listen to a nice music. I has already done this but still feels below zero. I am willing to close myself in a wardrobe where nobody can find me and sit there for some time. That’s a pity that i am already an adult and can’t do it anymore.
Just need to give myself some time. Than you for your messages they really made my day.
Please don’t pay a lot attention to my bad mood today, everybody has them and i don’t want to lie you about what i feel. When the period will finish i will return to stability.
Good night sweetie. (19.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
It’s another late night for me and I really have to stop doing this! And so, I will have to keep this short. I’m sorry if you woke up not to see a post from me but there was a problem with my internet.
It had been a quiet day in the restaurant but there still was a bit of business! and also, there were lots of laughs from us in our video call. I really enjoy talking with you and hearing you laugh is like listening to birdsong in the woods all day for me.
I really am looking forward to see you offline and just to be with you! 😊
Goodnight darling 😊

Ksenia
Hello James, Hello Diary,
It sounds clear that it is much easier for me to do anything in the morning than in the evening. So since tomorrow i will write my words when i wake up.
Today was a smooth day when i was full of love and passion feeling and was ready to share the light with everybody around.
It was nice to be an interpreter today, even if i did not do a lot, it brought me a nice experience.
I am glad for my german improving and plan to go on doing it.
I am glad for my teaching courses, videos are really useful, however im late with homework for 4 days already. I was doing it when you call at 5 sweetie.
I am greatful for you and for us. We are doing everything alright. Honey tree you. Good night.
Kisssss (20.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Today felt like a Friday. It felt like I had one more day of work before I can have a rest! and the business seems to be slowly picking up again! (Which is great!)
I really enjoyed our conversation after work. I felt a positive feeling as we slowly open our hearts to the fact that we are slowly opening ourselves to each other. I an admit it’s hard to be openly honest and truthful to our own selves let alone to do that with another person.
I am thankful to be sharing my life with you and grateful that we safety find a space where we can talk with each other in an open and vulnerable way. You are my dream and real girl 😊
I can’t wait to when we are together, living and growing together as we learn more and more about each other 😊
Sorry this is short again, as it is so late! But I promise the next few will be longer 😉
Goodnight my darling sweet darling! (20.02.2020)
P.S. I really like that photo of us in the last post 😉

Ksenia
Hello James, Hello Diary,
Today I have had a long and productive day, i am so greatful for a library in my university, it is so light, calm and cosy ^_^ Next time let us have a videocall there :3
I am full of missing you feeling and enjoy it. I am happy to have someone who is worth living in my head and heart, looking forward to our calls too!
Send you kisses and hugs
Truly yours,
Ksu (21/02/2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
I always look forward to our calls 😊 it’s always such a pleasure to see you, a beautiful amazing girl!
Today had been a fairly smooth day. We all finished work relatively early today as it wasn’t so busy. The business was pretty much the same as yesterday and Fridays are usually busy.
It looks like this virus will leave a big mark on people’s fears for a long time!
Anyways, I enjoyed our call last night and I hope you feel better after sleeping a little bit more 😊
Sorry to keep this short again! There will be some long ones on their way! 😊 (21.02.2020)

Ksenia
Hello James, hello Diary,
I really like what you have done with our site and am looking forward to trying a self-compassion test, it sounds intriguing 🙂
Do you remember i mentioned that i had had a tough conversation with one of my students? That is because I decided to stop having lessons with one of the girls. I have had no time for prepearing for lessons, not enough time to spend with you and am not follow my plan because of the lack of time. It’s a pity that a day has just 24 hours, but no more.
Today was a nice day full of good sport exersises (climbing), good food (thanks mom) and good music (David Bowie makes my day). Hope you enjoy your day and i just want you to remember how special you are for me. Sometimes I just let the love flow through my body. I can feel it fill my heart, my veins, my soul. And I become extremely happy and safe. You make it possible, my sweetie, and I eager to make you happy as well. (22/02/2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Today had been an okay day. Business is slow and the future for business doesn’t look too bright at the moment, in any part of the world. However, the mood among our family in the restaurant is more relaxed. I suppose that without the stress from the number of customers, we had a real chance to breath again!
This whole week is half-term for schools, meaning kids either have a busy with family or for a long of kids, having a lot of time to have fun and to also be bored! Oh, how those times had just vanished from us! Those summers and holidays where boredom would be the main drive to do silly things would seems like they would go on forever! But forever has come as the pressures of life slowly exhales onto us. This boredom however, also means that kids would call us and try and prank us! We had a couple of prank calls already and you would like to think that they would try to think of something more original and funnier, than the usual borderline prejudges topics. Like how today, someone asked if we sold monkey toenails or a dog. I also had a call where a kid, though he didn’t sound like one, asked if we had sweet ‘n’ sour cement. ‘Of course!’, I said that we did, seeing where this could lead, and as he was surprised that we did, he asked if we had fried chicken to go with that. I don’t know why but seeing that he had already wasted a minute of my time (where we could have already taken someone else’s order), I told him that he if he came down to the shop, we could help him shove it up his arse. And then hung up on him. I suppose that I became a little over excited but I’m not sure why I had done this, I could have just ended the call there and then. Maybe also, I am just fed up of these sort of prank calls! (bearing in mind that they do not happen so often!
Anyways, the rest of the evening, after work, I play the shooting game with my cousin Carmen [online], and we ended sleeping a little later than planned but that’s okay, tomorrow I haven’t set an alarm and will gladly wake up anytime I feel like I should!
You are on my mind darling, you are my sunshine, and I’m grateful to have you here to share this world with me!
Goodnight darling! (22.02.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James, ❤
I am writing this massage about yesterday in the morning of the next day. I woke up at 5 am by myself and was happy to have a chance to study more. It takes extremely long time for me to understand the basis but it is worth it 🙂 then grandpa came, we had breakfast together (mom and sister were awake till this time too) and we started to collect stuff for granddad’s trip. He is going to go to a resort hotel for 3 weeks just to have a rest. It is a nice thing that pensioneers in Russia have this oportunity go there almost for free. People in his age are very sensitive and he is angry at me now because I replied on his questions not with full sentenses but just with “yes, no”. It is so silly to be angry with and i don’t know what i shuld say sorry for, anyway, he is my grandad and i have to make peace. then my lessons started and time started to fly imperceptibly. In the evening i have a little time to watch a couple of episodes of friends. In the evening when you call my sister and i were chosing a kitchen for my new apartment and then our mom joint us.
I am glad you learnt something new yesterday, it seems that the universeitself helps you to get experience, i am happy for you and happy with you.
Looking forward to seeing you soon. (23.02.2020)

James
Hello Ksenia. Hello Diary,
Today had been a late start and I was looking forward to a day where I can have a chance to catch up on my sleep. But it seems that I will have to work on Monday and Tuesday to help my brother as his wife is ill and my parents will be looking after their children Amelia and Hugo. When my mum told me this, I would think that I might over react and would feel really unhappy have the sudden changes to my plan, however, I would think that everything has a reason, even if it’s not noticeable. Especially when there are sudden changes to plans. It’s like the Arabic word that was mentioned in The Alchemist, Mokab, (it is written) and to have some faith with that idea is really reassuring! However, I would like to say it’s a way to keep your mind on the bigger picture where it largely remains written to some extent but in the details, it’s the details we are changing and are always changing.
As soon as I woke up I had a message form my cousin, saying that he had will be helping my sister set-up the smart doorbell and I thought I would go and see if I will learn something. And, of course, I did. There will always be these small details that can always be learnt in the trades world and I’m grateful I had this opportunity to do so!
It was wonderful to see you my dear and I’m always so happy to see you. It looked like you were enjoying something nice with your sister (I hope I wasn’t distracting you both from your bonding time 😉). I’m grateful for every second we can spend together and it doesn’t matter how long or short it is!
See you soon my darling! 😊 (23.02.20)

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