Week 2 Our Journey

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Hello again. It’s strange to do two entries in one day, so I may have to keep this short. Today has been a sort of a normal day. There hadn’t been anything very remarkable that happened but at the same time, it has been a relaxing day😊
Oh and one thing, I do miss you my darling and also seeing you too. I hope your days are well! From my favourite, Jay Shetty, he had said that time to everyone is very relative to that person so, if you want to know how 9months feel, ask a pregnant woman, if you want to know what 2 hours feel like, ask a student taking exams, and if you want to know what seconds feel like, ask someone missing their train by seconds on their interview day. I still haven’t understood what he fully and deeply means but as I see it, everything needs a goal/result for it to have the true significant. Maybe that’s how I also see it. As child, my mum had always said that time will never wait for you. And recently, I feel like I’m not spending my time wisely enough. Am I too comfortable in my lifestyle that I’ve become lazy? Maybe, or is there another factor somewhere? I hope I’ll know the answer soon.
I’m grateful for a nice day, it was relaxing, for my mum and auntie for teaching me how to make a truly Vietnamese snack. And for you my sweetie, you are very important for me and I sent you a very from Chinese new year and we look so happy among my family members 😊 I hope we can see each other a little more today, what is your timetable like today my darling? ❤ (10/2/20)

Ksenia
Hello James hello Diary
Two days ago I was a little upset that you did not write your words, and I did not expect that you would write two of them in one day. That is why I had decided to make a break too. But then realized that keeping diary is a thing that we do for ourselves, it is a kind of meditation, solution making for ourselves. First and foremost, we do it to help us to get rid of annoying thoughts and, secondary, share with each other some important information, we usually use calls or messages for that. So far from now, I will try not to skip days again.
James, we are living in society and people are staring at and talking about each other. Black, Asian, tall, short, big eyes, small feet, whatsoever, people always have what to discuss about others. Do not take it personally.
I am worried about your family business too, but am sure that the restaurant that has been existing for more that 30 years, have its own stability which keeps clients always be there. The food is amazing, the atmosphere is marvelous and one of the waiters  (who has more than one role there) has such a nice smile and kind eyes. (I am talking about you sweetie). Everything must be okay soon, just need some time.
My days were fairly busy, realized how good it was to go out somethere. During the practice I was sitting at home almost every day. I am working and studying accourding to my plan so far and I  pretty like it.
My diet brings such lightness in my life, but the thing is that I have to cook separate meals with family, so it is a little bit annoying, but will get used to it soon. Have listened to another book summary, it was about anticancer diet and I am excited to follow it.
When you are busy, when you do difficult tasks first, and only then easy, that keeps you so strong and motivated for the whole day, but when it is late evening the whole tiredness of the day falls down on you. But it is just an effect. When you have a plan, have tasks and you are doing it, you do not thing if you are lazy or not, you just do not enough time for that.
I wish you to find the feeling of satisfaction from your every day. Let us try to do it together. Good night, sweetie. Kiss and hug you. (11/2/20)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
I’m sorry I made you upset, I hadn’t meant you make you upset my darling. I’m sending bucket loads of kisses to you rigghttt…. Now ❤ ❤ <3. Did you feel them? They were sent by first class wind delivery😉
I agree with you, this is a very nice meditation at the end of the day and writing down your thoughts can actually make your mind feel lighter!
Thank you for your words darling, I feel you 😊 I understand that this is the society we live in, and who knows, it might even be human nature for us to quickly judge things and people just on their surface and outward appearance than taking the time to think about it a little more deeply. Although, saying that, I can feel that people are slowly making sense of their own actions as there is a feeling of togetherness as the virus is slowly making its way to London.
I did a meditation in the afternoon called ‘comparing to others’ and I’ve noticed a nice balance of emotions today. Knowing that the thoughts in our head are only thoughts and not reality has really helped me calm down.
The diet sounds great and I’m glad you are feeling the benefits of both the diet and the books. The anticancer book sounds interesting! You really know how to find these interesting books! 😊
Today was very quiet but there was a busy moment. My brain feel very empty and I don’t think sitting through my dad’s driving helped either! But I can’t think of much I can write at the moment; I hope that’s okay darling! See you very soon! (as I’m writing this a hour before our call 😊) sending you hugs and kisses ❤ (11/2/20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary. Hello James,
I am writing this in the morning while cooking. I am so happy that my diet helps you to analise yours. We really help each other in many ways, we learn something new from each other every day. Yes, the working hours are kinda the same, days, weeks, even years may be similar. That is why i so appreciate our trips together. They create moments that make our life colorful. I enjoyed our conversation now too, but did not realise that you did not hear a lot because of connection mistakes. You are absolutely right that this topic is much deeper, we may continue talking about it later.
Well, that reminds me about the book which summary I listened not long time ago, the cancer one. The last chapter makes me thrilled just because it is called ‘Disease as a medicine’ or something like that. Sounds ridiculous, does not it? The main idea of this chapter is that sometimes disease may be a medicine for a sick soul. A person who faced any problem with health starts to think about his lifestyle, his diet, his dreams and realises that the life is limited. According to the author’s analysis, people who have something wrong with their health appreciate life more than people who do not have any diseases. The first enjoy every moment and thank universe that they have chance to live a little more. That is why their disability makes them happier. it is not my point of view but the author’s but something here is thought provoking. But as for me, those people can compare life before their disease and after. However, people who were born with health problems can not do it.
The main idea that any disease is a hard lesson that life may give to people. Why not people try to learn how to appreciate life and take care of themselves before the life would try to teach them and ask for its price? Talking about the price here is not about money, it is about the results of any disease. I know, James, we have already been taking care of ourselves. Talking about this subject is a huge motivation to continue.
Sorry if this topic was too deep for your late evening.
Have a nice day full of sunshine if you read this in the morning! kiss and hug! (12.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
I am so happy I had the chance to really talk with you my darling! Our timetables are always so full and busy days can make the days run like water down a hill! I am grateful for having you in my life and grateful we appreciate each other.
Today has gone smoothly. Hugo had his 5^th birthday, celebrating at the restaurant and seeing him as he came in holding a new toothbrush and a candle, I started to think that he was a very modest boy. That is until I gave him my present and it was the only toy present at the restaurant. I can only imagine how big his pile of toys is in his room! As it is a messy room already!
Lately, I have been very inspired by your motivation in changing your diet. Food has always been a problem for me, well, problem in the way that I’ve always eaten so much! And losing that weight has been a real challenge but you have become the spark I much so needed in starting a more healthy lifestyle. One in which I hope we can share one day. In this motivation, I am starting to understand how to love my body again. In the lunch break , there was a spare 10 minutes where I laid as flat as I could on the sofa and then let my body relax into the position it felt most comfortable. It was really nice to feel that deepness that comes from a deep mediation stretch like that. Sleep I also know is very important and you have taught me that too. Oh I am looking forward to a long lie in! 😊
Everyday is almost the same, the work is similar but I suppose this is what the working life I like. I am getting us to this again.
I enjoyed our conversation about what to do with a child born with a hampered start in life. It gave me a deep insight into what it might feel like to be those parents in Wonder. And I deeply respect your opinions too. At what I took from our conversation was that life is already full of suffering, why let a child be born with this chance to suffer even more? I think this question and topic is a lot deeper than at its surface and who knows our opinions might change later in life? Also, there was a reason/story that made you think about this topic, I want to know what it was as there was a disconnection at that moment you explained. We can talk about this next time 😊
It is late now and talking about sleeping early, I did better than yesterday 😉. Goodnight my lovely, amazing, beautiful lady, Have a wonderfully awesome day and we will see each other very very very soon! * kiss * (13/2/20)

Ksenia
Dear Jemes, Dear Diary
Today is already 13th February and tomorrow will be a Valantin’s Day, a day that is waited by all people being in love. It is one more chance to say how special the partner is, what an important role another person plays in our lives, one more chance to take care and express this amasing feeling love. I am greatful for being with you, you are so special for me, the apple of my eye. I really like the way we are going right now, smooth and gentle, self-respectful and motivating. Thank you for us and happy Valintine’s Day!
My day was smooth, but i was sleepy and straight after writing these words will go to sleep, and then have an alarm at 4 to do german as for i am a little late according with my plan, so need to speed up, in order to make everything was planned for this week.
James, i feel you worries about your business. What is your mom’s point of view? That is good that delivery is busy. and probably the rainy weather you mentioned is the reason why people do not want to eat out.
There is a news that really freaked me out today. There are ships which were going from America to Japan, and among passengers (the number of which is more than 400) there are coronovirus infected people. That becomes to light and Japan does not allow is to arrive on the island. So the ships have been staying right now for about 2 weeks with lack of water and food sipplies. What is more, more people is becoming sick there. And there is no medicine and nobody want to enter the ships. So people are dying right now there. What can they do?
and there was one more negative topic that was mentioned in the uni today. It was about Afganistan war. One of lectures in my uni was there and he told us his stories. I will tell you more on our next call.
It is high time to go to sleep, sweetie. Good night and sweet dreams J&K (13.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Happy Valentine’s day! I think by the time I write this and have uploaded it into our journey, you may have just woken up and I would have just gone to bed. But either way, even if don’t get to call each other in this time, I want you to know that you are the world to me. Everything about you just makes me smile and feel fuzzy on the inside, and I am grateful for having you in my life. I find that in our conversations, we explore a little bit more about ourselves as much as each other. Our opinions don’t always match but this doesn’t give us reason to argue, we make it easier for each other to be comfortable with the fact that there really are other opinions out there in the world, not just our own.
What I really like about these entries, is that we can go back to what we have written in the past and remind ourselves about the things we have spoken about before. I re-read your entry 7/2/10 and it really soothed me 😊
Business-wise, I asked my brother about this and he mentioned that these periods are always very quiet for business and with the add news about the virus, it made this period worst!
I’m glad that you ae doing so much in one day (even have time to relax by ice skating! 😊 ) and I hope you are also looking after yourself darling!
I had heard about that cruise ship but I hadn’t realised that the situation had worsen. I feel that we sometimes need a mental barrier just to hear the news, just so that we can digest the things we hear.
I look forward to our next call darling ❤
Good night my sweetheart, oh and last night I dreamt that I won the lottery (haha!), I wonder what adventures my mind has for me this time 😊

Ksenia
Hello Diary. Hello James.
Happy Valentine’s Day sweetie! Even if we are far away from each other, i feel you next to me. I am in love with you for exactly who you are today, and I will be in love with you tomorrow and the next day, the very same way. I see and feel you grow and improve a lot for the short timewe know each other.
My day was not special at all. Except the fact that i was going on the way to uni and the way back by bus and that gives me a nice opportunity to read the book, the one about the dog accident. i was doing homework from my course and having lessons in the evening. Nothing really special. Sometimes days should be like that, that is the best day for productive study or work, i like this kind of days.
There is a common belief that couples should take care of each other, say lovely words and share love on this day. Personally, I am ready to do this literally every day when we will be married. Every day, I marvel at how easy it is to like you, and how easy it is for you, to bring out the very best in me.
I am upset that i did not get your present, but i will be out for almost all weekends. Tomorrow i will go to the theatre with my mom and on sunday we will go to buy stuff to the new appartment.
see you soon sweetie. Kiss Kiss Kissssssss (14.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Happy Valentine’s Day my darling 😊 I know that you had a very busy day and must be very tired! I hope you rested well.
I’m a little upset that you didn’t write a post for today but I feel even more disappointed that the delivery did not reach you. But don’t you worry, another kind will come very soon 😉
I really miss you darling but I know we will see each other very soon!
Today, I really did have some boring customers! 😊 and it was nice to see people enjoying themselves. It actually felt more like a normal Friday than a day with a special event. There was a table for a birthday and there were just as many tables coming in in threes as well as twos.
I also felt that my mind didn’t really stop today and it wasn’t really helpful when I was distracted all the time during my lunch break. But I didn’t break (thankfully!)
I want to hear about your day and how you are, as that video call we had was too short. I haven’t had the chance to hear about the story you heard about your lecturer in the Afghan War and your views about Putin!
I hope we will have time in the next few days to really talk my dear 😊 I would also like to hear about the play you are going to too!
I thought I would keep them short, I’m pretty tired and sleeping at this time might start to be taking its toll on my body.
Good night darling, see you very soon! 😊 (14/2/20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary. Hello James,
Today was an amazing day, going out is always terrific, and going out with my mom is very important for me. It sounds like a perfrect Saturday, lessons in the morning was not as difficult as having them in the evening, our way to and back to the theatre was smooth, we were talking and sleeping. The building of the theatre is not huge and rather young, it was built in 2013. it is so cosy, all women there were in dresses or in skirts, men were in suits. There is a main actor and director of the theater and he is the same person – Sergey Besrukov, he is the most well-known and adorable movie and theatre actor. And he also my mom’s favorite one. Before i did nit understand why. But after this perfomance i see why everybody hero worships him. He acts so easy and lightly that you really feel you involved.
The play itself was about the pre-revolution russian poet and writer Alexander Pushkin, his biogaphy. This name and even several poems knows by heart by everyone in nowdays Russia. I am afraid that the translation will not give a full spector of emotions that we feel while reading but here you are one example of his poetry in translation.

I loved you once; perhaps I should exclaim,
My love still lingers deep within my core.
But I do not want to cause you any pain,
So grieve thee not for me a moment more.

Silently and hopelessly I loved you,
Tormented, I was too jealous and too shy.
May God provide another who will love you,
Just as gently and as fervently as I.

This person had a bright but short life and the way actors played it made us feel it so real. I am so facinated by this moment and so greatful to have an opportunity to see it. And i am greatful for you my darling. I was dreaming about us going to theatres together.
Like and choose you every second.
Goodnight sweetie. (15.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
I’m glad to hear that your day went very well today my dear! And that your time with your mum was a positive one! I will have to read the poem again in the morning. I can almost feel the emotions in the words but I think you are right, it’ll be easier if I knew Russian! What does the poem mean to you?
The play that your described sounded very good 😊 He also sounds like an amazing actor!
Were you two the lucky few who could go in to meet him in person? 😉
My day went smoothly. There were only boring customers but they were still nice 😊. There was one table of a family of 5, where there were two brothers and today was one of the brother’s birthday. Towards the end of the meal, the father brought the cake out for him and from where I was standing I could here the birthday boy singing the birthday song but to himself (“Happy Birthday to Me!”). It was a very sweet moment and he has given me the idea of doing that on my birthday 😉
I had given my parents a bit of shock this morning where I had automatically switched on the house alarm when I left the house with my parents still inside! As soon as they went pass one of the sensors, the alarm went off and it is a very loud sound. Although a big hassle for my parents, I found it funny. Am I a bad person for this? I think this happened because this whole week I had slept late and did not sleep enough.
Because of this sleep situation, I did not feel refreshed after each night and feel a build up of fog in my mind.
I am looking forward to getting these exams and classes out of the way, but at the same time, I must review everything and get the best possible mark for myself. Just to have a good CV.
I am grateful for you, thank you for finding some time for me on the bus and before the start of the play. You always make my days sun brighter than the sun.
I hope to spend a longer amount of time with you tomorrow.
Good night my sweetheart ❤ (15/2/20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello dear James,
as for your question, we had no chance to meet the actor after the play in person, but during the show he ran into the hall where audience was sitting and was staying just one meter from us. My mom was so thrilled, but i am so proud of her, instead of taking photos at that moment (as people around did) she just stayed in a moment to enjoy and did not take any pictures. Personally, i agree with her, what is more, nobody (actors as well) likes when somebody is taking photos of him or her, staying so close.
I found your story about a boy’s birthday very nice and i can imagine you doing the same ^^
As for the alarm, James, my sweetie, you were just tired, there is nothing wrong about it. But take care of yourself, feeling a fog in your mind is not a good thing.
During my way today, i was watching some videos which really inspired me. They are about people and their plans for a year 2020. That makes me looking forward to spending some time tomorow on my diary.
The week of kinda strickt diet has gone but i really satisfited with it and that is why i will continue but let myself to eat meet 2 times per week.
My Darling, i know that the virus is a big topic right now, and i am here for you to listen. I am greatful time which is going so quickly and quiet at the same time. It is nice that it is going quickly, because It let us meet each other sooner every day. i was a little bit annoyed today because of poor internet connection. It is nice that it is going quiet because we have enough time for studying, working and building yourself .
I am greatful for you darling and greatful for us. (16.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Today went very quickly. As soon as I woke up, I would need to go back to sleep again! Having the idea of working on a Sunday may have been seen as a negative but I suppose it is what is it and in addition, today wasn’t busy at all!
Hearing about your adventurist day makes me happy and even happier to hear good progress is coming along with your new home! I best remember to prepare a house warming gift for you! (A candle should be a good idea 😉). Although I only heard your voice today, I can feel you next to me 😊. Also, I am very impressed by how you were helped by a stranger and had the problem fixed all within a hour! You must be the lucky charm for each driver 😉.
Compassion and self-compassion are the themes for me today and the book I’m reading is fascinating! I completely agree with and also learning a lot about what compassion is and funnily enough I had a moment where I had a chance to practise it!
The time was 9:30pm. On Sundays, we usually finish at 10pm and we were fortunate to have two last-minute customers come in and they stayed for 1h. I hadn’t seen who had come in but was given a little bit of a shock as I walked to their table to take their order. In front of me sat a skinny, tall boy with dark messy deadlocks. His most noticeable features were the two silver teeth that took the place of two front teeth. Opposite sat a girl will straight brown hair, wrote slightly baggy clothes and her teeth not so shiny. As I approached them, the silver tooth boy spoke with a funny east London accent and was the definition of the type of people to ‘avoid at all cost’.
As soon as he spoke, It was clear that his thinking was also as messy his hair and it was oblivious that he had been smoking something very strong because the smell attacked my nose as soon as I turned into the room.
The encounter wasn’t a pleasant one, it sometimes felt like he was going to burst into fits of anger but this was stopped by the no shiny teeth girl. Feeling thankful I had finally taken their order I felt the urge to then not serve them and avoid them for the fully hour. Until, that is I had to get the bill for them. I used what I knew about compassion and thought that this might be their best night so far and I should somehow help them carry that on. So, just before walking around the corner and into the main restaurant, I took a deep breath and gave myself a small smile before going in to give them their bill.
The whole manner of his speaking changed and he was a very happy person, a changed person to who had sat there before. Maybe he was happy with the food but I felt that the compassion I had for another person also brought me into the present and really let me understand who their might be and how to say and do the best thing in that moment.
Just to end this, I want to say that I am grateful for studying compassion and self-compassion and I will want to help you to feel the same compassion and self-compassion to enrich your life and to also look after yourself, as well as my own.
I am happy I spoke with you today and I look forward to seeing you my dear 😊
Goodnight! (16.02.2020)

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