James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
It sounds like you are getting busier and busier every day! I remember you saying that you wished for more than 24hours in a day! I know you’ve made some sacrifices in your students to make more time and things like that. But now seeing your posts, I’m getting a little worried about you my darling. I’m not sure how to explain it but I’m worried that you’re not giving yourself enough time to relax and recharge your batteries!
My day was a little slow, I should some how improve the skill of learning on the go. I hope it would not seem too rude to just to be staring at my phone but when I have a day with my mum, my mum assumes that I have absolute freedom and no structure, which she feels is not right and wants to make there and then, logical plans for the day. It doesn’t give me anytime to do any study or to even give you enough time to call and to be with you.
I suppose we all have bad days every now and then, but time brings change in it’s hands and soon everything will get better in comparison. I’m writing this pretty late and I’m not sure what I have written but I hope it make sense!
Good night my sweetheart 😊 see you in the clouds! (02.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
you seems to have a nice day! So happy for you. Me too, I am pretty productive, but i really need you to take care of me. I feel that don’t relax, don’t enjoy, don’t feel taste of life. Need some sleeep. Or give up with the diet, am lack of energy. Even simple tasks are difficult. I am truly not a vegeterian.
I am greatful for us, family and friends (Alisa). See you soon! (02.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksenia,
Hello darling ❤ I’m always here for you and to look after you! Maybe it’s time to start to eat how you were before, so that your body can recover and then once you okay, you can start again! Maybe start with chicken for a week and see how that feels for you 😊 When you don’t eat enough of the right things, you start to lose motivation in everything and things can look very grey and dull but I believe in you. I honey tree you. Listen to your body and listen to what you feel is right for you. I know you can do this difficult time!
Imagine a big hug from me, and maybe hug your mum tightly 😊 Just remember you are an amazing person 😉
I am always here for you, went ever you want to call or message me, I am ready to respond or pick up your calls my darling 😉
My day went slowly but pleasantly. I love our calls, no matter how short they are 😊
I have noticed how short your posts have become. Do you not feel motivated to write anymore too? I’m worried that you’re feeling more and more tired or somethings is on your mind all the time. Maybe I’m the one who’s tired and have something on my mind deep thinking face but anyhoot, I am ready for any type of conversation with you 😊
See you soon my sweetheart! (03.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, hello James,
Yesterday was an okay day. I was watching friends for the whole evening. It seems that I spend too much on it, but it is how I relax. That reminds me of a book where the main character lives with his grandma, who is watching TV all day long and she doesn’t cook or talk just because she doesn’t want to. I’d not like to become her type of person. Watching friends it’s an alarm.
I’m greatful for our talks, for teaching course and for my mom. (03.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Yesterday, as I remember it, was an okay day. I supposed that I wasn’t in the best of moods to end the day with because everything I did was out of routine. Helping my dad can really test my patience as, in my opinion, it’s not the most pleasant thing I can be doing. There’s no conversation and there is a lot of guess work especially to what my dad is thinking.
I suppose I can feel a little bit of empathy towards my dad as my grandma hasn’t been feeling so well for the past few months and so, I can understand… sort of.
The rest of the day was just the usual. I sometimes feel like the restaurant is a sort of cage I go into and I don’t get to breath because of the lack of freedom. Maybe, it’s all in my head because, instead of getting anxious by sitting and doing nothing. When my mind is not challenged the right way, I start to over think!
It was pleasure that I was able to talk with you in the morning and I’m grateful for you to wake up so early to talk!
I like and choose you ❤ (04.02.2020)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
Today I am greatful for online german website dw.com which gives a great apportuninty to use materials for teaching and learning German. I am greatful for my mom, paying so much attention to my future apartment. i am sitting right now in my room and thinking about how i will be mooving all stuff from here, there are a lot of unnecessary things which are waiting to be thrown away. That does not mean that i have a lot of rubbish here, that means that i would like to get rid of things that i don’t use anymore. I feel them. It seems like, sometimes our belongings  have weigh upon our hearts. And when they are all gone, i’m sure old thoughts, fears and moments of hesitation and self destroying will leave us too. A new period in my life is about to come. I have so big hopes for it. Looking forward to share it with … you. (04.02.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
My morning started with a little movie, in my dream. I dreamt that I was a wizard just like Harry Potter and I had two friends like Ron and Hermione but the two friends I had were not so well spoken and nice as the two in the books and movies!
I dreamt that we were in a dark wood, again hiding from someone and we had help from some senior wizards and witches who helped build a little place to stay.
The actual events of what happened are all fuzzy as I was battling the sleep and trying to wake up.
The day started out in a bit of a rush as usual but there was noodle soup to eat for breakfast 😊 it must of really helped my mood as I did not feel as grumpy as I usually did.
It was a busy day today, people are starting to order form us! 😊 Let’s hope tomorrow will be the same.
I am grateful that I was to be with Amelia for her birthday, I felt left out yesterday as my whole family was at home yesterday evening for dinner but it was nice to see her grow up so fast! Even though I was busy working.
I’m grateful we were able to have a short call, it really made my day! And It’s great that I have the Russian facebook now 😉
I am happy for you darling, you are about to set of on a great journey. It’s not going to be an easy one but I know that you are more than capable and I am looking forward to the day we will have a home of our own 😊 I will visualise this every day until it becomes real! Thank you for you darling 😊 (05.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, hello James,
I am so upset about my phone today. I couldn’t use any app there, but after a complete restart things are becoming better. i am so happy that you found me in vkontakte, I appreciate it so much. Now we can be in touch much more often ^_^ what do you think of my page there? That is a shame that we have such short calls during the daytime, but both of us anderstand that work, study at a daytime is our job one. Everything should be in a right time Our conversations can wait for us in a late evening or early morning, when we can easily relax and enjoy.
You have such a cool dream, a real flight of fancy 🙂 Hope that i will hear about the next chapter of it on the nex day )) (05.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
As I remember this day, it had been an extremely quiet one. I even had time to go to the shops to buy some snack to have a cup of tea with! I really hope this virus goes soon and that business will become better!
In the past, I didn’t like that we were so busy! And it does sound very bad! But now that this has become true, I can’t stop feeling a little bit regretful in thinking this! It’s just funny how human nature and lead to these things.
I’m grateful for a tea 😊. I’m grateful for you, we managed to send a bit more time together through short calls 😊 and I don’t mind waiting for you in the night. The night are peaceful and seeing you made the wait worth it 😉 (I’m grateful for you 😊)
(06.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, hello James,
I really like days which start with our conversations darling ^_^ Today i was in uni, my studying was smooth. On a big break there was a small concert dedicated to The International Women’s Day. On our faculty of foreign languages the majority of students and professors are women, so our rare boys prepared some perfomances and even small gifts – sweets for every girl.
This holiday is one of my favorite, it symbolises the spring, the sun, flowers, blooming and new life (nature wakes up). It is high time to get rid of huge winter jakets and really warm boots, flowers are about to bloom and couples are walking holding hands everywhere around. I really like this season, it gives a feeling of waking up. Hope you feel the same darling. Like and chose you darling. (06.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Thankfully, today had been a lot busier compared to yesterday. Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten about the open day event at the college I want to attend! I feel extremely silly and hope that they will have time for me to go over and view the college!
At lunch today, while I was eating, my tooth filling came out and had left a very big cavity at the back-left molars. I have had these filling since I was 4 years old! (Very impressive!)
my gums and mouth on my left side immediately started to swell up and I had to take some medication and to get some mouthwash to prevent the cavity from getting infected!
Unfortunately, the dentists are not open on Sundays and it’s a real pain! (literally!)
It looks like I haven’t had much of a good day but surprisingly, I felt calmer than usual and that today also went very smoothly.
You looked beautiful (as always 😉 ) today in our call and I really love the attitude you have with your sister when you look after her 😊 and also love your amazingness 😉
I’m grateful for good weather, I had a nice walk exercise after our call today, biscuits (to go with tea), medications to ease the swelling in my cheeks, and I’m grateful for you 😊 I really feel my love tank overflowing 😊
And also, happy international woman’s day tomorrow today😉
(07.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello James, hello Diary,
As long as I remember yesterday it was very smooth and productive day. I was on a singing lesson, i got there by bike 🙂 I was looking forward to using it )) however, it was a little bit hard to breath calmly after riding. Anyway, both the teacher and me saw the improving . Probably, the reason is that im watching videos on youtube about singing every free minute. My teacher and I had a nice conversation after, she told me about her 12 years of studying (collage, university, another university) She had an oportunity to study in Italy, but she refused the invitation because of … pragnancy. Now she has 3 amazing children but completely fails in her career. That is an example of chosing career or family. Looking back she doesn’t feel that did the wrong choice, but there was a sad smile on her face when she said that. After the lesson I went shopping and bought a nice umbrella as a present for my mom) What is more, my sister and I prepeared a hand-made cactus. My students gave presents too, sweets espesially.
I feel and chose you darling! See you soon darling! (07.03.2020)

James
Hello Diary. Hello Ksusha,
Today I went to see my grandma with my cousins. The morning started out well where my cousins and I had breakfast together before going to the hospital. There were mixed feelings when we got there, I’m not sure why but the acupuncture side came out automatically and wanted to help in some way but with my grandma not able to understand my cousins and I, as she does not understand our heavy accents when speaking Chinese. (funny that!)
In the evening, I was at my sister’s house where we had dinner and relaxed a little before I had to help her with the doorbell. It was nice to see my two nieces, it’s amazing how fast they can grow!
What do you think about the choice your singing teacher made between family and career?
I’m grateful for good company today, good chance to catch up with family, and grateful we had time to chat today! Thank you for you darling 😉 (08.03.20)

Ksenia
Hello Diary, Hello James,
It is a little bit hard for me to continue witing posts. But i am changing myself! That day was The International Women’s Day and the nice thing was all public transport was free for women for the whole day! Cool! But I did not use it, just because 1) there were bags of people willing to use it 2)my bike is waiting for me 3)the weather was fantastic!
So in breakes between my lessons and cleaning I was riding around. It was nice to see tulips, smiles and laughs everywhere.
I am greatful for us my darling! see you soon. (08.03.2020)